Five short films are swiping right on queer love
This week’s theme is online dating! Something that fascinates me about online dating is how many people are still averse to it, even though it’s been around for quite a while at this point. One of the films I decided not to include this week had a character say to her date, “I’m glad we’re doing this, I just wish we had met the ‘normal’ way.” What is it about meeting “organically” that still compels us so much?
To be sure, there are tons of issues with online dating – everything from racism, casteism, and other forms of bigotry in the way people select potential partners, to sexual harassment on dating apps, to just the depressing feeling when someone ghosts you yet again. But a lot of the problems with online dating are problems with dating in general, just with extra technological back-up like racist algorithms. And online dating also creates spaces where queer folks can find and communicate with each other, which is helpful if you don’t feel safe being out in public or to your loved ones, or if you don’t know how to find other queer people wherever you are.
For what it’s worth, I’m deeply ambivalent about online dating as well – I’ve never really had it succeed for me. But I’ve also developed deep and long-term friendships with people I’ve met online, albeit not through dating apps. I don’t think the online nature of those friendships makes them any more or less meaningful, so I can absolutely see the value of online dating when it works out, which it has for many people I know.
Today’s mutual aid request is for S, a friend of my dear friend TK, who in fact is someone I met online. S is living in a horrific abusive housing situation and has overextended themselves to try and make rent, to the detriment of their own health while they are already disabled. They are halfway to a goal of $6,000 that will help get S out of their lease, fix their car, and secure new housing to escape their current situation. You can donate to S’s GoFundMe, or send money to TK with the note “For S” on Venmo, CashApp at $torkz428, or Paypal at torkz.
You can find content notes for the films at the very end of the post; see the full list of things I usually warn for. Also, I include pronouns for people mentioned when I can find them explicitly stated. When I cannot, I either use what I see being used for them in articles about them, or I just use their names.
See You Soon, written and directed by Tyler Rabinowitz, begins two months into an online relationship between Vincent (James Cusati-Moyer) and Anthony (Jonny Beauchamp), who live on opposite coasts of the United States and are meeting in person for the first time when Vincent flies out to stay with Jonny. Their weekend together is lovely and immediately intimate, as two people who now know each other so well in some ways get acquainted in others. But as Vincent’s trips nears its end, they have to figure out what their relationship looks like moving forward.
As someone who’s been in multiple long-distance relationships (though not ones that began online), See You Soon hit very close to home. The intensity of the joy when you’re with your person coupled with the abrupt low when you’re apart again rang incredibly true for me, as did wondering how a relationship can survive the distance. So I was not surprised to learn that director Tyler Rabinowitz had based the film on his own experience of meeting a man he matched with on a dating app. “When we were finally able to have a weekend together in person, I found myself able to let my guard down in a way I never had before”, he told Short of the Week. “As the weekend came to an end, I had to grapple with the double-edged swords of attachment, vulnerability, and a long-distance relationship. It was a pivotal moment in my coming of age, as I discovered not only my capacity to love, but also my capacity to receive love.”
See You Soon
After such a sweet and moving love story, Honest Gay Dating in India, directed by Harsh Agarwal and Pew Banerjee, feels incredibly cynical – but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hold important truths. Two men, played by Akshat Talwar and Ayush Garg, are meeting for a first in-person date, but instead of portraying their well-worn small-talk and euphemisms, their actual thoughts are vocalized. The result is funny and sad at the same time; Garg’s character’s shallow nature and lascivious comments, which would absolutely be sexual harassment if actually said out loud, are hard to stomach, while Talwar’s character’s perspective based on bad past experiences make this date feel doomed to fail from the beginning.
Honest Gay Dating in India
Atomic Love, written and directed by Imogen McCluskey, isn’t technically about online dating, but its themes felt relevant enough to include. Set in 1988, Aleea (Maddy McWilliam) is making a video profile for a dating service called Atomic Love, helped by her recently-married friend Dana (Priscilla Doueihy). Aleea struggles with feeling relaxed and natural on-camera, even as Dana tries to set her at ease, and Aleea’s frustrations lead to an emotional confession.
The film was shot in a single take on a Digital 8 camcorder, capturing the feel of the late 1980s, and allowing for creative storytelling in the conversation between Aleea and Dana. “I wanted to play with the audience’s role as viewer, moving from a direct address inviting us to watch, to a private confession we feel uncomfortable to watch,” director Imogen McCluskey said in an interview with her alma mater AFTRS. “Falling in love means you’re at your most vulnerable, and ‘Atomic Love’ lays it all out in the open! Playing with that progression from viewer to voyeur was really important for me, and took coordinating the language of the camera zooms and focus, as well as the actors performances and blocking. Hopefully, it looks easy, but it was deceptively difficult.”
Atomic Love
2 Spirit Dreamcatcher Dot Com, written and directed by Theo Jean Cuthand (he/him), is a parody that queers and indigenizes ads for matchmaking sites. Designed exclusively for Two Spirit people, what other dating site would include suggestions of nearby pipeline protests to take your date to, elders who will personally tell off and banish anyone acting creepy, and jokes about moose-meat, all for only $5 per month? Recalling the humor of another fantastic Theo Jean Cuthand short that I have previously recommended, Reclamation, this film also features familiar actors, including Lindsay Nixon, Judith Schuyler, Elwood Jimmy, and Cuthand himself.
2 Spirit Dreamcatcher Dot Com
First Date, written and directed by Carly Usdin (they/them), is an adorable rom-com that has a similar initial premise to See You Soon, but serves as a happier book-end to this week’s selection. Jennifer (Shalita Grant) is new to online dating, and she hits it off really well with the first person who messages her, Anna (Shannon Woodward) – but unfortunately, due to them matching while Anna was on vacation, it turns out that they live on opposite sides of the United States. Despite the distance, Jennifer and Anna continue talking and flirting over the next several weeks, until an opportunity arises for them to meet in-person for the first time.
The entirely out cast also includes queer favorites like Brittani Nichols, Vico Ortiz, Gaby Dunn, and Amin El Gamal as supporting characters. And you might remember creator Carly Usdin from their wonderful short Misdirection that I have previously reviewed; they also directed the feature film Suicide Kale and, in moves very close to my heart, have recently partnered with women’s sports media outlets like TOGETHXR and RE-INC, including being the showrunner for the sketch comedy series The Syd + TP Show that is hosted by basketball stars Sydney Colson and Theresa Plaisance.
First Date
